The truth will set you free?

It's not something I talk about ever. When I do talk about it, it comes out as something that really wasn't that big of a deal, so nonchalant. But the truth is it was and is a big deal. I'm afraid that if I keep hiding it and pushing the memory away, it will form a cancerous tumor in the pit of my stomach.

Obviously this year has been one of the most tumultuous ones yet. I remember this time last year thinking 2008 is going to be MY year, that I was going to do something spectacular, worth while, meaningful. I spent the first half of this year numb, withdrawn from friends and family. I think about that time now and all I feel and see is darkness. It's an unpleasant vision in my mind to see me sitting in a room alone trying to forget, writing things down that didn't make sense, laughing at the wrong part of a sitcom. It was a waste but the truth is I needed that. I needed to see what it would feel like to "hit rock bottom" to let any semblence of myself fade away.

I feel like I'm discovering a whole new person, something that should have happened years ago, I guess. I'm less afraid, fascinated by more things than I can hold in my brain. I'm less healthy, but awake. I don't want people to read this and start questioning me. The truth is I am fine. I am happier than I have been in years and am actually excited and anxious to live my life. This year was the biggest struggle for me but I know if I can survive that I can survive anything.

Music and Films and Films about music and musicians

Watch the movie CONTROL. Watch it, watch it even if you hate Joy Divison. Well no don't watch it if you hate Joy Division because that's just odd. Thats like eating an apple when you don't really like apples or painting you fingernails teal but hating the color teal.

I watched this last night in the warmth of my bed and realized I love movies that relate to music. Most, if not all of my favorite movies have an intense theme involving music, musicians, and the culture. Maybe I will direct music videos, maybe I will write a screenplay involving music (oh wait that's a work in progress) or something along those lines. It's like tying two loves together and what is more perfect than that?

Trailer action

The curse of the trouble seeker

I can be angry and I can be bitter, but I choose happiness.

And I know I am a better person because of it.

The CHRIST-tastic list my of favorite christmas flicks!

Being back on the east coast makes the holidays seem more like the holidays. I'm not walking around westwood in a short sleeved shirt and flip flops. Instead I am bundled to the max in sweaters, scarves, hats and whatever else I can get my hands on when I leave the house. Living in LA, it was hard to really get in the holiday spirit. For some reason this year I find myself already keeping the christmas station on in the car (a thing I have hated for years) and totally singing along. To get more festive I have decided to list my favorite Christmas movies of all time!

Love Actually
Mega awesome cast and cute love stories during the holidays in London, need I say more. Ohai Colin Firth!


National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Total family tradition to watch this around the holidays. Definitely gets the most laughs and who doesn't love Randy Quaid?


Forrest Gump
I must have seen this for the first time around Christmas because for some reason I always get the urge to watch it this time of year.

It's A Wonderful Life
Hard to believe I have only seen this one time and it was um er right around this time last year. oops.

Little Women
My favorite movie when I was a teenager. Who didn't want Teddy (yum Christian Bale) living next door to them?

Elf
Probably the most recent quote worthy Christmas flick. Will Ferrell wearing yellow tights anyone?

Home Alone
Macaulay Culkin before "The Good Son"

Die Hard
No you didn't read that wrong. I said it Die Hard. My favorite action movie that promotes the holiday spirit!

A Nightmare Before Christmas
Kind of like two Holidays in one plus some singing!!

Mickey's Christmas Carol
I have seen mostly all of the twists on A Christmas Carol but this is by far my favorite.

Babes in Toyland
The Drew Barrymore-Keanu Reeves one. I haven't seen the original.

Scrooged
Billy Murray is one of the many loves of my life.

A Christmas Story
Nothing like 24 hours of air time to remind you that it is indeed Christmas.


*None of these are in any kind of order.

Happiness is discovering new photography

I'm never very good at describing art and what it says to me, but these photos are very inspiring. The way the photographer plays with the light and how it reflects off of certain areas is calming to me. I haven't really loved many photographers other than Guy Bourdin and Mapplethorpe but I found a new one (Lina Scheynius) and I enjoy her.


These are some of my favorites...















http://www.linascheynius.com/
clickity click for more

and my absolute favorite
http://www.guybourdin.org/

New York amongst other things

I'm very super excited to be going to NYC this Saturday. It's been too long. Over 3 years I'm guessing. I think I'll be completely lost there but that's probably my favorite thing about it. I would so go into F.A.O. Schwartz and make a muppet for KTK that resembles her and Kermit combined but I imagine that store to be completely packed as it always is.

In other news I am finally getting back in shape. I have had the motivation for a while but no money to join a gym. It feels great to finally be active and productive. How funny is it that you dread the gym so much but then somehow you become addicited to it?

I had a dream a couple weeks ago about a boy I have never met, we fell in love but I could never make out his face. Do you ever wonder if people are dreaming about you that you have never met? Or if you dream about someone from your past, maybe they are dreaming of you at the exact same time. I like to believe that is true.

unspoken loves

Peppermint hot chocolate

morning leaves

city slickers

empty ashtrays

dad's oversized dress shirts

missbehave

raspy voices

twilight

cherry blossoms

banana bread

southern charm

black and white polaroids

roof decks

sushi sundays

Most awkward commercial ever

sick

Get me a job at digg

Digg Dubb: Groove Is In The Heart from Trammell on Vimeo.

check out more here
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-10-29/randi-zuckerberg-on-the-hipster-lip-dub-craze/

its fall where I am, how about you?

I lived in LA for a year and a half. I have been back in PA for 8 months. When I lived in LA I knew a few good people. When I left LA I talked to two. Now I talk to one. He sent me this text message yesterday:

"Remember the time we were drinking at the sheraton and we had to walk those Irish ladies home? Then stole the busted up chair from someones porch...good times."

Maybe I'm obsessed

I have spent the majority of my morning looking at pictures of dogs. More specifically pug/jack russell terrier mixes, appropriately shortened to JUG!!


My dad told me in september (yes last month) that he will buy me a dog in a year. I am almost certain that when I move into a pet friendly apartment I can move the date up. I just have to keep being annoyingly persistent!

P.S. Why isn't loldogs.com an official website yet?















Hi lovers! I can't wait to bring one of you home!

Thought of the day that sums up my life

I have this urge to document the past, I’m afraid of one day growing up, growing old and having nothing to show for it.

Two of my friends are getting married this fall. I am super excited for them and also super excited to go to some weddings!! It would be nice to have a date for both weddings since the majority of my friends have boyfriends. The thought of finding a date for a wedding reverts me back to high school and trying to find a date to prom!! So instead of going to a wedding with someone I don't clearly like or enjoy being around I have decided to do both solo, unless I meet a gentleman of course.

I was making a reservation at the hotel for Rosalie's wedding and found myself lying to the woman on the phone. When she asked me if I was booking for myself and another person I quickly said yes. Why was I lying to someone I will probably never meet face to face? Is it really such a big deal to go to a wedding alone?? Why am I such a liar?

Well it turns out they didn't have any traditional rooms left so I am now going to be staying in a room with a fireplace and jacuzzi!!! Score for me! (By the way I think this story is absolutely hysterical and cannot wait to start a fire and jump into the jacuzzi)

Yummy accessories

I am a huge huge fan of accessories. I think the more fun and showy the better. I have seen a bunch of accessories lately that have been food inspired. Well, as a lover of accessories and food I must say I am totally excited and need the majority of these.... Looksie below...



Sprinklessss yayy!! I totally just bought this!







***courtesy of www.fredflare.com





Honestly these are too cute. I am really leaning toward the PB&J earrings but I haven't made up my mind yet. The best part is that they are amazingly affordable.

Is this a weird thing to do?

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"Taking Woodstock" by Ang Lee



Ok so I just read about the new movie that Emile Hirsch is going to be in called "Taking Woodstock" (hello awesome!!) and somehow managed to get my hands on the filming schedule! Apparently they are filming in upstate NY. I have been dying to take a road trip and am totally in love with Emile! I know that sounds slightly (er totally) crazy but I really want to check it out. Hey maybe I can even be an extra. Thoughts???

Check out the film:

http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2008/08/26/producer-james-schamus-says-ang-lees-taking-woodstock-will-capture-hopeful-spirit/