new

I can't wait until the boy I love knows my middle name.

If it was that easy to be skinny

"I do this thing where I think I'm real sick, but I won't go to the doctor to find about it." Rilo Kiley


I had this really crazy dream last night. Basically it wrapped up my life in 7 hours...but in my dream it felt like 7 minutes (7 minutes in hell or 7 minutes in heaven...read on)

I went back to my pre-school, but it wasn't my pre-school, it was a castle. Ruins of a castle, actually. People kept telling me that I was going to succeed. And I did. I had so many people looking out for me, I had it all, really. I did. The heat in the apartment was on. I was never cold. I never had to pretend I was someone that I was not. I kept typing away until I finalized that masterpiece. I felt satisfied.

I wish I wasn't so judgemental toward myself. I wish I wasn't judgemental toward anyone. However, I guess I am. I went from 360 to barely 60. I lost my momentum when I lost myself. I'm slowly getting myself back to normalcy.

to be continued....

(i'm really tired)

that's philly for ya

I need a notebook whenever I go into the bathroom. I was held hostaged tonight at mad river (I keed I keed)

I shoved and sweated my way to the bathroom just for this:

sadly this is all i could get down : " I don't appreciate it when I come home and you have hickey's on your neck when our children are around."



Several moments later

word for word "Just because we have children together doesn't mean nothing."

True Story #29384

The mall in my hometown had this fabulous new store called "Glamour Shots". Yes, you know the one I'm talking about. With it's flashy pink neon sign and glorious smell of aquanet, I was drawn to that place. I was all about signing up for free things so of course I put myself on the list to get some free pictures taken.

This was ages ago so I'm not sure how long it took them to pick me out of the raffle or whatever, but I ended up getting a call. Mind you I was in 6th grade, pre-braces and pretty much obsessed with all things Jonathan Taylor Thomas. My best friend and I traded off carrying around this crinkly old magazine centerfold of him from Tiger Beat magazine.

My older sister was feeling jealous so she made my mom bring her as well. I didn't mind because I knew my pictures were going to be fabulous and I was going to be famous somehow. Besides my sister was growing a really nice unibrow. In the bathroom I frantically searched for Nair to rid myself of the bleach blond fuzz on my legs. However, my mom found me as I was pouring the stinky goop into my hands. Unfortunately she thought I was too young and said no to Nair.

The day finally came! I went in and they did my hair, my makeup (pink lipstick, probably blue or green eyeshadow, and a coating of very orange concealer) and I transformed into the hottest 12 year old ever. Next came the best part - picking out my 3 outfits!!

In my memory I browsed through racks and racks of sequins, glitter, feathers, red suede, etc etc. I'm sure the rack was like 6 feet long and filled with ex prom queens throw-a-ways. But I recall being in heaven.

My three outfits, well tops, because that was all they were going to shoot (bummer)were some gems. The first was a red, white, and blue sequined blazer with mega shoulder pads, the second was a purple glitter sequined blazer, and the third was some awful denim and suede cowgirl jacket. My sister picked one out and the lady worker told us she thought it would be cute for us to pose together in it. I wanted to barf. How dare my sister intrude on my one true shining star moment that was going to propel me to Hollywood for a guest spot on "Home Improvement"?

Various picturs were taken while mall peeps wrestled to see the awesome-ness that was happening within the store. After the photos were taken we got to pick a couple and then the rest we had to pay for. Well my sister and I went a little crazy and made out mom buy at least 2 of each, unless we were mid-blink had lipstick on our teeth.

I still have the wallet sized photo I was going to send to JTT somewhere in my parent's house. It was of me in the purple sequined blazer professing my love for him and how we should meet and go out and get slurpees. I also asked him if his sitcom brothers felt like real brothers and if I could be his girlfriend.

I wonder why I never sent it to him?

whoahhhhhh oh oh

I have been in fantasy land for a couple weeks. In other words I have been sharpening my brain, like you do a dull knife. I hate February!! I have never liked that month. It's like lazy and so inadequate compared to the rest. Not to mention, that fucking short month drags like fucking elephantiasis. (totally probably spelled it wrong by the way...i know there is a weird A in there somewhere though). yawn.

I have been working on some things. I'm super excited for a short film idea I came up with. Rosalie and I wrote the dialogue (hi rosalie I love you) and had a blast writing it. Laughter is the key to life, not money, power, respect....(oh rappers).

Rosalie is super talented. When we get the finished copy of "PINHEADS" I am so gonna shovel the fuck out of it....I just made a new meaning for that expression. It means I am going to send it to people I still know in LA.

Recipe for fun

My bff and I are obsessed with the idea of making pot brownies. But we are stuck. We don't really hang out with anyone that smokes weed. I don't live in LA anymore so I can't just run to the nearest farmacy. (Damn you Philly for not having medicinal mary J).

Then last night it came to me...I finally pinpointed someone that could provide some righteous green. My Aunt!!! You heard it hear first folks, my aunt loves to get high or at least she did.




Apparently last year my aunt and uncle got into a fight. He was drunk and called the police on her and informed them of her stash. Well her stash was a box full of numerous bongs, bowls, papers, etc. This indeed came as a shock to me since my aunt is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for a while now. But then I pictured it. My aunt up in the mountains sitting in her basement on some old orange sofa surrounded by her three cats and two dogs smoking the ganj.

At the end of the summer I was at the shore with my family and my aunt was there. I was a little drunk so I started asking her about her weed days. Little did I know that she was still smoking it. Like she just went outside and did!!!

Therefore my aunt may be the one lady I can turn to to help me make pot brownies. She might even have a good recipe.

Really people all I wanna do is eat some pot brownies and watch america's funniest home videos!!!


Blogger's note - I have smoked pot before, it's just not for me. The only time I have enjoyed it was when I was smoking and watching AFV. I'd rather eat it, with cool whip on top and maybe sprinkles!

Flashback like whoa!

For those that have not seen this movie. Go rent now. It might only be available in VHS form but it's worth it!!

The first time I saw it was when I was like maybe 12 or something. I was staying home from school, probably "sick" and this little gem popped on HBO. Yep my parent's were subscribers, yet I still bought my clothes at Bradlees (oh another flashback). Actually Bradless was the shit. Come back Bradlees. Ok sorry totally off topic.

The movie is about Polly and Natalie. Polly is a total sex feen and talks about it constantly while Natalie is this preppy do-gooder. The ending is brills when they rollerskate down the street throughout the entire credits.

Go rent now. It's already on my netflix queue!!!